From Toddler to Teen Overnight

I often find myself wondering, “What has happened to my baby?” What happened to the little guy who just wanted to cuddle and be tickled? Where is the little one who needed his mommy to feed him his meals and was easy-going? Now, I have a two year old who acts fourteen most days!!! It’s funny how crazy things seemed back then in comparison to now. How I had to learn to feed, bathe, and dress both of us every morning. It wasn’t hard, but it took some organization and scheduling. Now, I long for those days. What seemed a little hectic then, feels really simple now! Feeding, bathing, changing, and dressing a child that didn’t talk, run away, or refuse was a piece of cake, compared to wrestling with a two year old.

I now have a little boy who changes his mind fifty times in one minute. One who loves broccoli today and hates it tomorrow, who doesn’t want to poop in the pot, but is too busy to go to the toilet on his own. I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening at first, but I quickly realized that I had a toddler who secretly morphed into a teen.

The signs:

1. He wants to select his own clothes:

Where we simply used to just get dressed, it’s not that easy any more. My two year old has days that he doesn’t want to wear the tie up laced up sneakers, but prefers the ones with Velcro straps. He has other days that the blue shirt just doesn’t work, because he wants to wear a swim top. Somedays he will want to wear a hoodie, but no coat and just one sock.

2. Requests my credit card:

Yes, my two year old thinks that my bank card is the answer to everything. No more Goldfish……. get mommy’s credit card. I want this truck…… “Use your credit card, Mommy.” “Mommy, are we going to get gas and use your credit card?” I have no idea where he gets this stuff from, but he has a good understanding of how money and bank cards work. He just needs a job to make his own money.

3. Eats all your food :

My two year old eats like a grown man. He leaves daycare, and after having breakfast, lunch and two snacks, he still wants more food. He’ll eat his food AND mine too (because mommy’s food always seems to taste better, even though it’s the same as his).  Just like a teen he could live off of pizza every day without blinking.

4. Catches attitudes quickly :

We struggle with his unpredictable changes in attitude. One moment he’s laughing hysterically at something,and the next he’s upset because he ate his last grape. Like most teens, his attitude changes as quickly as the wind.

5. Hates mornings:

A year ago Kristopher could smell me wake up somehow and would be right up with me. Now, the same little boy that didn’t want to go to sleep the night before, hates waking up. He hides under the covers, tells me he’s still sleeping, and once he’s up, starts having one hundred different ailments. His head will hurt, his arm has been broken, he needs medicine, his nose sometimes falls off, and a ton of other things. Just like the average teenager, he avoids mornings like the plague, unless it’s the weekend, or if he’s going somewhere fun that day. Weekends and activity mornings, he’s up dragging me out of bed at the crack of dawn.

So if you’re struggling with a toddler-teen at home, know that you are not alone. I don’t have any solutions, but I’ll pray for you!

Kristopher’s Mom

Motivational Monday – Loyalty

Never let go of loyalty and faithfulness. Tie them around your neck; write them on your heart. If you do this, both God and people will be pleased with you.

Proverbs 3:3-4  
Often times I look at people and wonder if they truly understand what loyalty is. Do we grasp the concept that it’s a true commitment between husband/wife, friends, beliefs, and family? Webster dictionary defines loyalty as a, “strong feeling of support or allegiance.” Are we living in a time where loyalty has died or been lost somewhere with our morals? When we marry, we take a vow to be loyal. It doesn’t mean we are loyal in just good times, prosperous times, or healthy times. It means to be loyal during all times. So many of us are quick to marry, but so easily disrespect the unity of it. We should be loyal in friendships as well. Yet. Two people will have a fall out or simply drift apart and the next thing you know they are bad mouthing each other and sharing once kept secrets. Does loyalty just dissolve that easily? We witness families fight and bicker and completely fall apart, when they should be supporting and encouraging each other. And, how loyal are we too ourselves? We so often give our bodies, time, and possessions so easily to people who aren’t always deserving of them. When we aren’t loyal, supportive, and trustworthy, we decrease our own value. We strip ourselves or respect and honor.

We must step up and learn how to be loyal again. To mean our words when we share them and protect our allegiances even when we feel hurt or distant from them. It’s our job to protect our spouses from infidelity and dishonesty. And, in our families we must continously build a sense of strength and unity amongst each other.

“Honestly and loyalty are key. If two people can be honest with each other about everything, that’s probably the biggest key to success”

Taylor Lautner 

Kodie’s Scary Shadow

Toddlers are funny and unpredictable little people. From one moment to the next you never know what to expect. Kodie can literally be crying and whining about something and then all of a sudden he will break out laughing. The drama in our household over the last week or so has been shadows. Kodie is scared to death of his shadow and it’s hilarious to me! This little boy so aggressive and is not afraid of anything or anyone. He has no issues when it comes to fighting and standing up to kids that are bigger than him, which aren’t hard to find because he’s a little thing LOL. He is downright petrified of his own shadow! There have been times that he actually cried real tears because the shadow would not leave him alone and because the shadow was chasing him LOL. I’ve tried explaining to him that it’s his own reflection and that’s why the shadow is following him but he does not want to hear it!

Kodie has told me several times that the shadow has hit him LOL. He cries, kicks, and screams when the shadow touches him screaming “mommy, get the shadow!” I’ve tried talking to the shadow saying “leave Kodie alone shadow, LOL” and when that didn’t work, Kodie has tried to face the shadow on his own by telling the shadows to leave him alone and even attempting to hit them, but of course the shadow doesn’t go away. Last night he was yelling at the shadow saying leave me alone and I told Kodie to stop yelling at the shadow because “he” yes “he” hasn’t done anything to him. Sometimes I think I’m as crazy as him LOL.

I have found that his fears of shadows are only intensified when he is tired, so when bedtime rolls around it’s double the fun LOL. I’m now dealing with a tired and irrational toddler who runs from himself LOL. This morning he and I were arguing because he would not walk down the steps because the shadow was following him. In order to avoid being late for work, I had to carry him down the steps. After the shadow drama this morning, as I was holding the front door open for him to walk out of the house he had to stop and say goodbye to his football, baseball, Mickey Mouse which he calls (Dickey Mouse), and several other toys. He also had to kiss his toys goodbye and I had to say bye to them as well, LOL.

-Kristle (Kodie’s mommy)
Please feel free to share some of your own funny stories with us!

Motivational Monday-Wisdom

A wise women builds her house, but with her own hands a foolish women tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:1

We are each blessed with the ability to build. It is our mission to build ourselves, families, and any other groups that we interact with on a daily basis. There are too many entities already present in our daily lives that seek to tear us down. So it is our job to build each other up. As women we should encourage and support our significant others. We should be their greatest cheerleaders. Offering them courage where they have fear and replacing their doubt with positivity. With our children we should be offering them kind words and warmth so that they can grow and love unconditionally. When we walk into work we have to dispose of any negativity and be prepared to work productively with our coworkers. This is the way to a happy life.

It doesn’t serve any of us to be foolish women. Any destruction that we do to those around us eventually will destroy us as well. Sometimes we get so stressed with day-to-day life that we take our anger and fustrations out on those close to us. That drags negative energy into our homes and work places. It also causes those close to us to absorb that energy and pass it on to others. It becomes a never ending cycle. Stop it today! Be wise and build your homes with positivity and love.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility of our future.

George Bernard Shaw

“Mommy Body”

Today, I don’t have any tips, suggestions, or really much guidance at all. This is probably more of a journal entry than a blog, but I wanted to share it to let other mothers know that they aren’t alone. The topic of my post, “Mommy Body”, has become a very touchy one for me. I look at pictures of women out in bikinis, skipping carelessly across the beach, and I smile for them. I remember those days; days where my body was perfectly put together, with very few imperfections. I see more women on the beach that make me second guess myself. Not because they are perfect, but because even with imperfect bodies, they still wear two pieces anyway. I ask myself if I will ever be that bold.

I’ve been my harshest critic since the beginning of my existence, and now I’m twice as hard on myself. This mommy body is not what I’m used to. There’s really no extra weight, but the weight I had seems to have repositioned itself. I was blessed not to get many stretch marks, but on each of my sides, I have a few evenly placed ones. Before becoming a mother, I had a surgery that left three scars on my stomach. During delivery, I was rushed into emergency surgery, where I received a C-section that left a keloid scar. If that wasn’t enough, I had ANOTHER emergency surgery after my C-section, and two additional scars were added to my canvas. It’s a tummy nightmare!

Where my stomach used to be perfectly flat, it’s slightly pudgy to me now. It’s not hanging, or really noticeable in clothes, but it’s not what it used to be. That reason is why I hate sharing this insecurity with others. Those who don’t see you naked every day don’t get it. They say things like……. “What did you expect?” “It’s not that serious!” and, “Look at me, are you seriously whining?” What many others don’t get is that, self-appearance is very personal. What may not be a big deal to others, or in comparison to others, could be a very big deal to you! I congratulate the women I see out in two pieces post-baby/babies, but it just won’t be me. It’s not vanity either, it’s just comfortability, and I’m not that comfortable. To be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be comfortable again! I just want my feelings to be okay, though. I want others to respect that they exist when I share them.

I know that I’m not the only mom that has dealt with this, and I know I won’t be the last. I’m sure there’s a mom reading this now and thinking…. ‘Woman, just put on the two piece bikini and get over yourself.” And, I one day hope to be that fiery, but it won’t be today! LOL. As women, we all have our insecurities; they are a part of us. For some of us, it’s our thighs being too big or our arms too flabby, but there is always something.

In efforts to not allow my changes to negatively impact my self-esteem, I had to accept a few things post-baby:

1. We aren’t meant to be the same after:

The body is supposed to change. After all, it has carried a four to ten pound human inside. Organs have moved, and fatty tissue has increased to keep that bundle of joy safe. Some of us are blessed to walk away unscathed, but many of us will look into the mirror and remember.

2. That it was time to tweak the wardrobe:

After having my son, I realized there were many articles of clothing that I simply didn’t want to wear any more. Some pieces I didn’t feel comfortable in anymore and others didn’t fit the same. As a result, I’ve been learning to change my style a little bit.

3. We are beautiful regardless:

For a while, I looked at old pictures and thought ‘Wow, you were beautiful!”, and immediately wondered what happened. This “me” has tired eyes and a really unmanaged look. I now quickly remind myself that this “me” did something amazing. This “me” grew an entire person inside of me. That’s beautiful in itself.

-Kristopher’s Mom

Motivational Monday – Fairness

Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy

Proverbs 31:9

It’s not always easy to be objective or fair when it comes to others. We unconsciously often place or needs, families, and wants first. How simple is it to hear a situation and judge someone for it? Yet, we so easily ignore our own skeletons! When talking to others about life we have to take into consideration that we all live differently. We each have different standards and choices. It is not fair to judge or segregate anyone based on their beliefs, behaviors, or opinons.

We must also be more aware of how we treat others and how others treat each other. No one deserves to be treated unfairly or unjust. This past week we have witnessed so much unfair treatment and horrible actions in our world. Nothing positive comes out of unfairness or unjust actions. Negativity just breeds more negativity. It’s our duty to stand up for what’s right and just on a daily basis. If we don’t start creating a change today, there will be no positive difference tomorrow.

I urge each of us to be the example that society and our children need. When you catch yourself being unfair or judgment stop and re-evaluate your actions and words. When you see others being unfair, speak out and help them to see the pain that their actions cause. When we witness unjustified actions on media, pray and do what you can for your communities and the communities of others.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.”

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

But You’re just a Mom…….

Becoming a Mom is a monumental event!
You’re the most important person in the world to your baby. My mother told me that shortly after I had Kodie. Those words would often comfort me on those really crazy long days. When I had my son, a new woman was born-not by choice but by force LOL. It’s definitely a life changing event. It’s an emotional roller coaster and change is scary but beautiful. My husband (Keith) recently looked at me and said that I had matured. He said that he has watched me grow and change from the woman that I was when we first started dating eight years ago to the woman that I am now. He looked at me with pride in his eyes and he said you have evolved your now a mature woman…and I said are you calling me old…LOL? He said no you have matured…you have grown up. I said with pride I’m a mother….Kodie’s mother and we both laughed.

As women we have so many roles: cook, drill sergeant (LOL), chauffeur, professional organizer, schedulers, cleaning woman, mom, wife, etc. These days, women not only manage a household but also work outside of the house. At work I wear many hats depending on the day from counselor, probation officer, social worker, psychologist, professional baby sitter and the list goes on and on. I’ll admit, before I became a mom and I met women who were stay at home moms, It seemed really simple and cool and I thought to myself that I could be a stay at home mom, however, when I was on maternity leave it felt like I was in a boot camp 101 for moms! People would say to me while on maternity leave” well at least you get time off after having the baby” and I would think “off? Really?” What does that mean?! There’s no such thing as “off” as a mom! It’s literally a 24 hour around the clock job! I was ready to go back to work just to get a break, LOL! To my dismay, there was no time to chill and watch TV.

I literally had a baby human attached to my breast every hour on the hour! People said sleep when the baby sleeps so I tried but it’s like each time I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep he would wake up. I think that Kodie’s goal in life those first few months was to break me, LOL! When he was down he would cry and scream! I was too overwhelmed to cook so I didn’t eat (I wasn’t that good at multitasking at first). I quickly learned in boot camp 101 for moms, (maternity leave), that as a mother multitasking is essential and I was forced to rise to the occasion!

In short, I respect and appreciate all moms. It’s like being part of a community and a society within itself. Since becoming a mom I can definitively say that there is no thing as “just a mom” or” just a stay a home mom”. Moms are the equivalent to Super Heroes without sleep!

~Kristle…..Kodie’s Supermom

A Roadmap to Roadtrips with Toddlers

When taking a road trip with a toddler, GPS or navigation can’t lead us through all the car mishaps and toddler meltdowns that can occur. We love showing our little ones new places, but it can be a very rough trip. I’ve known some adults who don’t travel well in cars, so it doesn’t come as a surprise to me that toddlers can have a rough time in the car for extended periods. I’ve heard plenty of moms say that they don’t take many road trips with their kids until they get older. I actually love roadtrips with my two year old little guy!!! We have fun looking at the scenry, naming things, and talking about the cars and trucks. It also teaches him a little patience. To help other moms out, I provided some tips that I have learned along the way!

1. Dress them comfortably

We all have those favorite little outfits that we love to see our little ones in, but please save those until you get to your destination when traveling with a toddler. Dress them as comfortably as possible! You want something easy to get into and out of if they aren’t fully potty trained yet and still need to be changed. You also want something that won’t be too hot in the summer, or chilly in the winter. Also, have them wear shoes that are easily removed, or something that they can get off and on themselves. Car space is limited, so toddlers will play with things that they usually don’t, like their shoes. You don’t want to be stuck in the car with a toddler screaming because he can’t put  his sneakers back on that he just took off 5 minutes ago. LOL.

2. Take plenty of toys, crayons, and new gadgets

No one likes dragging extra things with them, but you will need them while traveling with a toddler. Keep plenty of small dinosaurs and cars handy. Grab some paper and crayons for drawing and writing. Also, throw something new in the bag. There’s nothing more exciting to a toddler than a new toy!

3. Have electronics (tvs, dvds, tablets)

If your toddler is anything like my rambunctious two year old, he will get bored with things quickly. Be sure to invest in some portable DVD players for the car. They don’t have to be charged, and can just plug in so you don’t have to worry much about the battery dying. Bring a tablet so that they can play their favorite games, look at pictures, and entertain themselves a little more. Electronics can provide toddlers some calm and quiet time for at least a little bit of the ride.

4. Be ready to hear “Mommy” fifty million times

On our last road trip, I can’t tell you how many times I heard “Mommy”, but it was a ton. If he saw a cool truck driving next to us, he needed for me to see it too. If he heard a motorcycle approaching, he had to call me to see if I heard it as well. Then, there were the times that he wanted to say “Mommy” on repeat for an extended length of time.

5. Provide accessible and simple snacks and drinks

To avoid turing your one hr ride into two, take easy-to-open snacks! Have some healthy snacks provided for your trip. I love Tupperware! You can purchase one with different compartments, and fill it up with different little things (fruit, crackers, fruit snacks, granola, sliced veggies, and more). It’s also a lot less messy…. well, until it flips over! LOL. Sandwich bags that seal also work well.

6. Never travel alone!!!!

Traveling alone with a toddler is dangerous! There is a great chance of just pulling over and running from the car! LOL. Having that extra set of hands, eyes, and ears available is a blessing. It’s not easy to keep reaching in the back seat to pass your toddler a bag of snacks, or picking up a toy he’s dropped for the millionth time! Not being able to keep a close eye on them could be an issue as well. Toddlers put everything in their mouths, and you don’t want to risk something occuring. The hearing part is important as well; toddlers are loud when they don’t need to be, and tend to whisper when you need them to shout. Having an extra person also gives your toddler someone to entertain themselves with along the ride.

7. Do Not Build an extra tight travel schedule!

When it comes to toddlers, life is truly unpredictable. Having a tight travel schedule causes unnecessaried stress. Things always seem to happen when you don’t have time for them to happen. Make sure you have plenty of time to get where you need to go and back, without panic.

8. Have patience

Understand in advance that you are traveling with an unpredictable little person. Meltdowns and tantrums could possibly happen. Settling in that fact makes it easier for you to handle them when they do. Don’t get bent out of shape about it, melt down with them, or start yelling, and spanking. When meltdowns happen, step back and be patient. Toddlers haven’t learned traveling etiquette yet, and can’t always regulate their feelings. The best thing to do is to remain as calm as possible, so that you don’t heighten their breakdown.

9. Get plenty of rest the night before

The only way to survive any trip with a toddler is to have plenty of rest yourself. The night before hitting the road, get into bed early and sleep well. Wake up a little earlier to eat a good breakfast and have some quiet time. The only thing worse than traveling with a cranky toddler is traveling with an exhausted adult!

10. Take medicine

On the road, just like any where else, life happens. Traveling to different places can often cause illness. Where there isn’t much that you can give a toddler, at least be prepared for fevers with a little Tylenol, have tissues for runny noses, and antibacterial creams for potential falls and scrapes. You can never be too prepared on a roadtrip!

11. Keep it simple

Remember that they are toddlers! Where you can take a five hr ride somewhere in a day, they more than likely aren’t capable. Crankiness and tantrums are bound to happen. I try to do overnight trips, because they give both he and I a chance to rest. Having that time prevents meltdowns for both of us.

13. Make the destination worth the trip

Where traveling two hrs to go eat at your favorite restaurant may seem like a great idea to you, it’s probably not a good idea with your toddler. They aren’t wired to sit for travel times and lunch without any outlet. Take them somewhere that they can run, jump, and burn all that energy they have saved up during the ride. Make the trip memorable for him/her. Select kid- friendly places.